Dreaming

I used to, hmm back in 2003, kept a dream journal. I was having de ja vu dreams, like I dream a scene, like in a car, and a VERY similar thing happens in real life, like the same exact scene with the same people and someone said the same thing even though the outcome was different..... It was hard keeping track since you forget your dreams and takes a lot of strength to stay awake and record it but I guess I'm into these dream stuff.

 I do a lot of reading on google and take ideas how to interpret my own dreams. Some people say don't think too much of your dreams but there are people who say that dreams is your subconscious and probably is like your intuition/six sense in life. I guess for girls it's like WE KNOW if your bf is lying or being unfaithful or we see signs of things going wrong. In other words sensitive to things. I knew something was very very wrong with my previous relationship and kept feeling very upset and unsettling and it turned out it was cuz he cheated fml. Or see my friends having problems just by the way they are acting and little signs. I guess it's like I feel/sense people being different and subconsciously know something is going on even if I can't always pinpoint it. Anyways, I feel the same way with dreams. They may lead to some truth in your life and maybe get to know you and other people around you better through a deeper part of your brain. Before I sleep stuff I been thinking about or ignoring usually pops up in my dream so I feel that dreams are very in sync with your life. Well I think I gave up somewhere along the line but these days I remember my dreams pretty well. And I had this crazy dream.

So I just came back from a party and thinking back I think this was trigger by my friend. I'll talk about the dream and interpret my way. It's all just random interpretations but hope you think a little deeper about your dreams.

So in my dream, my friend say A, was drunk and he starts getting too close and starts kissing my neck and hugging me. I try to push him away and part of me likes it. Guess a little attraction IRL. He tries to kiss me and I push him away. Then he is with another friend, a girl E and E tries to get close but I get jealous and tell her to go away. Then A starts flirting with me and giving me a lot of attention. Tries to get close and we have some conversation I cannot remember but opening up to each other. We played some iPhone game together. We were at the flirty stage of a relationship where we are giving hints and playing games. More like he was totally in love with me (haha) and I was hesitating but wasn't saying no. WELL my bf is in the dream. So I feel super guilty in the dream the whole time and I thought I catch my bf buying me Vday items. (yah it isn't even close to Vday but just go with it) But I was mistaken and was sad. Then I see A and my bf together really friendly and they were getting me stuff. BF getting me a card and stuff animal and A getting me a sandwich and is super sweet. I was like why would he go for a taken girl? And he's like he can't help it and feels miserable but still want to try to get with me. I keep feeling he will give up since I'm taken but he is persistent and I won't 100% reject him becasue I like this attention and passionate determination. So then my friends realize I'm interested in him too and E comments no wonder you didn't want me to get close. I feel so confused and miserable in my dream and wake up.

So it's not the first time I have these types of dreams of cheating. I always never kiss another guy in my dream no matter how tempted I am. And I will feel like cheating but never do like most is hugging extremely close. I am certain in dreamland I know I am a taken girl and won't go any further than kissing but is tempted by the flirting and attention and FEEL TOTALLY GUILTY the whole time.

Google searches on cheating dreams will tell you your subconscious is telling you A) unsatisfied B) unhappy in relation C) Wish fulfillment dream (as in something you want but will never have, like dating a celebrity). D) you like the person. The list goes on and you can look it up if you are interested.

My interpenetration: I know it's not wish fulfillment since this is someone I know. Probably a mix of ABD for me. So lets go back to reality. During the party my friends and I were messing with drunk A. I admit I am minimally attracted to him since he is tall and not bad looking but I know I love and have a bf. So he got really drunk or we say "wing" and us girls were abusing. Well anyways I was being nice by rubbing his back and then he lies on my lap. I guess a little spark or closeness clicked. Not to mention that there was always on my part a feeling of attraction but like very minimal. I feel some from him too. Not that I will do anything and he will either but I guess if I was single I would be interested. Usually my intuition isn't that off. So that's D working in my dream.

So back to my relationship. I am pretty satisfied and happy (tho we got into a bad fight recently and have what I like to call scars on my heart) with my bf. I been with him for like 4+ years now and we may fight, argue but make up and work hard to keep us together by appreciating each other. We talk about the future, plans, thoughts and ideas. So what's wrong? I guess I always feel like I jumped into the relationship too quickly. I missed the chasing stage where we flirt and do silly things for affection. Some say it's the best part of the relationship, playing games and just have crazy attraction. My bf was probably a rebound. I was very hurt in my previous relationship and felt emo for like half a year. My ex played these "games" with me and got me super stress, unhappy, happy and confused. I agreed to go out w my bf even though I was not 100% over with my ex to get away from him and it was the best thing I did. It's not that I didn't like my bf back then, he was a great guy and a great friend (totally would friendzone), I just didn't feel ready and he was patient but I was so cold and heartless to him. I gave in to his persistence, how much he liked me and to get over my ex. I never wanted to get hurt again and he was one of the nice guys that girls don't usually date but I guess he felt safe. Those are not good reasons to start a relationship. I think we worked cuz we have lots in common and I am a hopeless romantic while he was madly in love with me. He slowly grew on me and we are happy now but we missed the fun stage of the relationship because of my evil ex.

So therefore, I have dreams of having the chasing stage of the relationship with other guys even though I would never cross the line. I doubt I can do this in real life since I am VERY faithful and HATE cheaters. So these dreams really bother me. I totally told the bf and he isn't worried and tells me he will totally chase me again if that's what I want. <3 LOVE HIM!


Dreams are mysterious. Don't know why we have them really but I feel like it helps me connect with... me and find problems in my life to make it better. Don't know if I'm over analyzing but having a bf who will work with me to ease my doubts is great. And I don't take most of my dreams seriously. Many do not make sense. Maybe there is some deep meaning but who knows? Sometimes just enjoy it.