Gratitude

It's the seasons of graduations. Watching people end one chapter in their lives, I think about my new life in less than two months. I am trying very hard to be more humble, kinds, optimistic and grateful. Why? Well I want to be a better person and I feel like it's a new start for me. New place, new people, new life. Nothing familiar and it may be scary too. But I want to come out a new me too. I am grateful for who I am but I know i can do better.

For example, I get jealous, I compare myself to others, I hate myself at times, I lash out on people, I get annoyed at the smallest things. I am pretty spoiled. These days, I catch myself doing these things and I try to reflect and stop myself. Old habits are hard to change but I think it can work. My current solutions is think of all the things I have and be grateful. Like I yelled at my bf this weekend, I start thinking about how great he is and how our time is short, I should be grateful he's here with me and not mad at him. It applies to all things. Even bad waiters. I imagine them having a bad day or things aren't going smoothly and makes me feel better about the situation. Also grateful he's working as a waiter so I don't have to get my own food.

I been trying to be a better person and it's a lot of work. I can't help but feel less awesome becasue all my friends are working in the real world while it would take me 4 years to even start. I know I have all the time in the world but it just sucks to be left behind. I think moving away is good for me so I can be around people with the same goals as me. I believe what I am doing will make my life better and I would become happy. I have loads of doubts but I think this is my passion.

I have heard if you want something badly enough, it might come true. Like the universe listens to you. I believe that if you want something it will happen like magic but I also believe that you set yourself up to your goal. Like I want to do _______ so I do what I can and get there. Did it mean the universe didn't do shit? It can also be interpreted that the universe helped lead me there because I got the opportunity. Think of it as luck. Sometimes it's coincidence and others times questionable. Either way, I am a positive person so I'm going to ask the universe 10 things that I want.

1. Become awesome in my profession and find a 100k+ job doing what I love and making a difference for people
2. Get married before I am 30 and have the perfect wedding with all my family and friends. I want grandpa there please.
3. Have about 3-4 kids. Two boys and a girl or two of each. All would be loved equally and they better behave and become super smart and grow up to be perfect gentlemen and ladies that can take care of me too!
4. Make enough money to spoil my parents, my husbands parents, my kids, my brother and my relatives and if there's any left over my friend. Oh and me too! My husband spoils me and I'll see what I can do for him.
5. Keep contact with my loved ones: family and friends (new or old) and have lots of fun!
6. Be in the happiest relationship ever where we will live happily ever after, growing old together.
7. My family and friends stay super healthy and live long happy lives. I hope they can fulfill their dreams before they pass away. I don't want terrible accidents/tragedy.
8.  I don't really have any more wishes. My most important is to be happy and healthy with lost of money to enjoy with family and friends. So let's wish that the Earth stays healthy and the cute animals thrive too. People are corrupted but eh I hope we become peaceful and happy too!
9. I guess a secret dream is I become a model and can make some $ on the side haha but I know if you don't pursue it, it won't happen on its own. But it's not a goal in my life but a wish
10. Oh travel the world and see the 7 wonders and go to JAPAN many times and just travel yearly! and hopefully do it with friends or something. IT'S about the people you're with to create the memories with you not just the place itself.
11. I'm going to cheat and add one more. I did give my 8th wish to the world! I want to be a happy, caring and optimistic person that is loved by everyone :)
12. ok ok, one more. I want to be skinny, skinny LEGS and big eyes and soft glowing complexion. Ultimately healthy but I want to be hot. I want confidence

 Well life goals has always been engraved in my head. I do hope they come true some day. I have more random wishes but lets not bother the universe.


Oh I bought a DSLR. Nikon D5100 during amazon deal. I caved in because I wanted to take nice pictures. I have slight regret not getting Canon but I think it will work out. Better not regret and think positive!! I am just one of those people who HATE getting the bad end of the deal. I hate myself buying something that goes on sale the next day, week, month.... or even ever. If I buy something, I better not see it ever again. Except for food. HAHA

But seriously the DSLR makes my crappy pasta look good

The dragon roll looks way better too!

 Now I hope it does wonder on my face and not gain 10 pounds. Speaking of pounds I started to work out. I hope I can keep it up. Even if it's 15-25 min so far... I literally got sore doing 10 min of insanity workout videos. -___- If I want to be super skinny and model status, I have to start somewhere right?